Barbara just died. Y’all together now in each other arms. May y’all rest in peace. I miss y’all and love y’all.

Mom just made the mistake of thinking today was eleven years since you left, and, of course, I corrected her. It's been ten years. Ten years is much more significant, too. No offense to the number eleven, but ten is far superior. Part of the reason I posted a picture and a song today was because it's been ten years, and I felt that not posting anything would be mean or inconsiderate. I don't consider myself very good with personal words and such, but then the thing with mom happened and this was all I could think about. It sucks that you left. I've been thinking a lot lately about the day you died. I was ushered away into Mike's room with Emily and the kids, so I could hopefully avoid the ugly and agonizing parts the adults had to deal with. I caught a glimpse of you on your bed, though, and your eyes were wide and your mouth agape. I assume you were gasping for air, because your body suddenly decided to turn against you. It's painful to think that nobody, including you, was ready for your departure. This is also why I'm really scared of death and dying lately. Unsurprisingly, an episode of TV gave me some comfort recently. A really good person was dying, and she was scared, but we were reminded that love is carried forever. It sounds cliché, I know, but in a way, that makes you and I immortal. I won't willingly forget you in this lifetime, and hopefully the same can be said for me with someone. This can tie into that, "for you are dust, and to dust you shall return," thing. We're all stardust; it's supposed to be cute. You've gone where many have gone before you, and where even I will go in time. There's no more pain, and there's no more heartbreak. It can't be all that bad, I guess. <3

It's been so long since you past and yet it still doesn't feel real, another year has gone by and coming upon another Christmas without you it's still so hard to believe that your gone. you may not have be there in person but I know you have always been by my side to guide me through life, there is so much i wish you was here to see me turning 21 becoming a man in a couple weeks when i found the love of my life two years ago man you would haved loved her she makes me so happy and i know that would make you happy to see me smile like i do when im around her i wish you could have met her i wish you could be here when i become a man and when i marry this girl. but i know your in a better place a lot better than what this world has turned into i know you're not in any pain anymore and i just know your driving your dream car around the streets of gold up there with a big smile on your face and i can't wait to be there with you and doo that together. now i know ther are some thing you will kick my ass for when i see you again and coming from you i wouldn't mind i mean i deserve it, its just been so hard without you but i will make you proud cuss if i don't then thats a fail cuss that's all i ever wanted was to make you proud. I love you so much i will see you again in another life i know it and i can't wait.